The time the condom got lost….

I’ve heard stories about condoms falling off during sex and getting thrusted deeper into your vagina, but it had never happened to me.  I was with a man that had a pretty small penis, one of the smaller ones I’ve ever seen.  After spending a very long amount of time focusing on pleasing me sexually (possibly to compensate for the smaller size), it was time for us to have sex.  From our last sexual experience, I knew there were issues with the condom staying on.  Note to men: put your pride aside and buy a condom that fits. This guy was buying regular condoms and clearly needed to buy a smaller size.

I’m not sure really how and when but at some point, during sex, the condom came off.  I had no idea and I guess he didn’t either.  That Friday night concluded and we went on about our weekends.  I went to the gym, did a couple of long runs, went dancing, etc.  FLASH FORWARD to Monday morning. My stomach had been a little off the past few days (probably because a foreign object was in my body).  I went #2 on the bathroom (which probably helped push it down), and all of a sudden, I began to feel something rubbery in my vagina. I look down and begin to touch what is a fucking condom! I screamed! I couldn’t believe it! I had no idea where it came from! How did it get up there? How long has it been up there? Did my new guy know this happened? WTF?

What’s insane is that the night before, I was out and about and ended up in a make out session with a new guy.  We ended up going back to his car and continued kissing.  At one point, he whispered in my ear that he wanted me to sit on his face. Thank goodness I didn’t – COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE if I had taken him up on his offer, only for a condom to come out in his mouth? You can’t make this shit up.

Yes, this really did happen. Yes, the condom somehow got wedged up into my cervix for approximately 60 hours.  Yes, I did ask my guy if he knew anything about it of which he denied any knowledge (maybe he was embarrassed).  No, I could not feel anything up there until it actually started to come down closer to my vaginal opening.  Yes, I was really embarrassed about this and really feel like I need to tone down on the sex a bit. Yes, I’m concerned my guy lied to me (although he is kind and genuine guy that most would call a stage-5-clinger).

I ended up going to my gynecologist two days later and she told me this sort of thing happens more often than you would think. She said that once it gets stuck in your cervix, sometimes it can stay up there pretty long, but that it won’t go to any other part of your body.  Phew!  So yeah, that happened.

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