The Blue Sky

I soon learned that he was single and definitely ready to mingle.  He loved to fuck, just like me, and my friend would be happy to set things up between us; he actually thought we would make a good match.


Exploring Ashley Madison…

He shared with my that him and his wife were not having sex and hadn’t been in a while. He told me over and over how beautiful I was (after sharing photos with him), and he was eager to meet me.  We scheduled a night when we would meet at a restaurant about an hour from where I live.  In that moment of scheduling it all, it seemed exciting and anticipatory. I mean after all, I recall what it was like to be in a sexless marriage.


The Baseball Player

I continued to look for young guys that I knew I would never have to worry about developing feelings for.  I kept chasing that high, that rush.  But it was slowly beginning to fade with each conquest.  I needed more, like a junkie.  I swiped right on this younger guy that played baseball at a college nearby.  I couldn’t tell much from his pictures other than he seemed cute. We matched online, exchanged snapchats, and began chatting.

I would invite him over once in a while, but he never came over and didn’t really seem about it.  In the moment, that was fine by me because I was getting my next fix from whoever else was coming along.  Then he started to invite me to hang out, and I would blow him off. Eventually, I decided to give in and just go with it.  What’s the worst it could be?

He showed up shortly after I had gotten home from being out and about.  It was dark, and he had just come from his off-campus apartment.  I was cleaning up in the kitchen when he knocked on the door.  I yelled for him to come in.  As the door opened, I looked up to see what he looked like.  He was short…much shorter than he pretended to be in those photographs on Bumble.  I would guess he was probably 5’5/5’6 (and the baseball roster lists him at 5’10).  So that was strike one. Read More

The Blowjob Complex – Take the Poll!

Blowjobs-some of us love to give them, most men love to receive them. Traditionally, blowjobs were not my cup of tea.  That thinking dated back to high school where I would hear young men talk about “getting head” and degrading the women that performed the act for them by calling them a “chicken head”.  I still will never understand why those guys would practically beg girls for a blowjob, and once they got it, they would talk massive shit about her (bragging to friends, calling her a hoe, telling everyone and anyone that will listen what she did).  And then other women would label her as a slut. It just sounded awful. Read More

The Virgin

We got into bed and continued kissing. At some point, he stopped and looked at me and asked me the best question I have ever been asked, “Can I go down on you?”


The Young Gent

He began to cuddle me from behind. I didn’t want to like the feeling, because it felt so safe and good, like we had done it a hundred times before.  I allowed myself to feel it for a few seconds, knowing this wasn’t anything real, but for some reason it reminded me of what love is supposed to feel like.  It sure was a nice reminder.


The time the condom got lost….

I’ve heard stories about condoms falling off during sex and getting thrusted deeper into your vagina, but it had never happened to me.  I was with a man that had a pretty small penis, one of the smaller ones I’ve ever seen.


Acceptance: Changing the Game

It is an incredibly empowering time for women.  We can be open and honest about sex, relationships, and what we want out of life.   Acceptance has become the foundation of this new era.  And women don’t really need men at all anymore…unless it’s worth their while.


The Captain 2

After sleeping with the Captain, I couldn’t get him out of my head. I had a legit high from sleeping with him for five days – yes, five whole days before it eventually tapered off.  I felt more relaxed, happier, and somewhat euphoric.  My mind would flashback to moments from that night:  him going down on me, to the way his tongue ring felt against my clitoris, to how he fucked me from behind, to how he dominated my body.  At night before bed, I would masturbate to those visuals and relive the experiences, getting high all over again. It was my favorite way to fall asleep. 


30 days of orgasms…

I had two very different experiences post my sex deprived marriage, both on completely opposite sides of the spectrum.  My body now began to feel more alive and I felt things that I forgot I could ever feel, both physically and mentally.  My libido increased significantly, and I found myself masturbating daily (and usually multiple times in one sitting).  As I continued to redefine and rediscover my need for sex, I wanted to understand more about how an orgasm effects the human body and decided to document my own personal experience of having an orgasm for 30 days consecutively.

Before I jump into my experience, it is important to understand what happens scientifically when you climax.  An orgasm creates both physical and mental sensations and reactions in our body.  Our heart rate and blood pressure increases, our breathing patterns change, and (for women) our vagina contracts.  During orgasm, our brains are flooded with dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin.  In laments terms, orgasms pretty much get you high. They relieve stress, take away pain, make you happier, and according to some can even make your skin glow.  They help you feel more sexually aware and connected.

So I set off on my challenge, 30 days of orgasms.  Here was what I experienced:

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